Maria Bamford

Date of Birth: 3 September 1970, Port Hueneme, California, USA

Birth Name: Maria Elizabeth Sheldon Bamford

Height: 5′ 6″ (1.68 m)

VITAL STATISTICS:

Sometimes referred to as The Woman of a Thousand Voices, Maria Bamford will usually correct you to say that she is the woman of maybe six voices, one high, one low, a few in between.   Bamford started performing standup comedy at age 19 and has accrued a respectable resume of accomplishments including playing The Tonight Show, Conan O’Brien, several Comedy Central specials, an appearance on Prairie Home Companion (you can start to see why I have compared her to Mary Mack here), and headlining the Comedians of Comedy tour along with her chums Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn, and Zach Galifianakis.  Additionally, Bamford keeps busy with TV appearances such as on Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! and and voiceover work including Hey Arnold!  So a lot of shows with exclamations points in the titles.

Oh, and for the record, no, that was not her as the “Female Garth” in Wayne’s World 2.  That was Oliva d’Abo.  Easy to make that mistake, though.

There’s a muttered epitaph in the comedy world and that is: “women aren’t funny.”

I, personally, would never say something like that… out loud and to people who were not my filthy friends. Not sure why, but most of the female comedians I’d run across were about as funny as running your nails across a blackboard: shrill, man-bashing, self-righteous harpies. Wow! All qualities in someone I want to pay my hard earned-money to see. I think what turned me off to some female comics was that they would try to present themselves in the same manner or tone as male comics.  I think in a desperate attempt to be accepted by male audiences they went into this sort of over-the-top aggressive, crass  male-black-face (see: blazers with gianormous shoulder pads) out of defense and having something to prove in an industry that was (and, I’d say still is) dominated by men.  Drunken, belligerent men at that!

Maria Bamford changed all that for me.  Her Voice is very much her own (except when it’s someone else’s) and she express the fact that she is a woman on in  ways other than complaining about her period, her kid, or her big, dumb, football watchin’ husband.

Thanks to Bamford, I’ve made some (some) strides towards reacquainting myself with the humours of the Fair Sex.  Obviously, there have been many, many female comedians– standup or otherwise– who have bucked my hamfisted generalizations all throughout the history of comedy.  To prove it, my next Geek Crush candidate: Phyllis Diller. Ahaw… haw… haw!

The proof of my progress is evident as well! I mean, normally, I loathe relationship humor or pet humor (relationship humor for the desperately single).  Yet, somehow, Bamford’s approach makes it livable.   And brief.

Example? Why, certainly.

I believe it was Dave Olsher who once told me the Three S’s Rule and it goes like this:

“There are three categories: Smart, Sexy and Sane.  When a Dude (or Broad) encounters a Broad (or Dude), he (or she) must remember that said Broad (or Dude) can only possess Two of these qualities at any time (if that).”

Sadly for me, “Sane” is usually my dump stat in women.  And, yes, crazy bitches, I am single.

Honestly, I don’t believe Bamford is really crazy. In fact, I’ve heard some recent interviews in which she stated that she got the right therapy or whatnot and now she’s got her crazy in check.

Will our love survive?

Will she still be funny?

Of course, you goober, stop asking me these stupid questions.

REASON I’D SABOTAGE THIS RELATIONSHIP: Would only use her to buddy up to Patton Oswalt.

Maria Bamford’s Official Site

Maria Bamford’s Comedy Central videos

Maria Bamford’s Myspace

Tags: Aesthetiophilia, Pictoriphilia, Videophilia // Add Comment »