When you find yourself loathing in a fierce, utterance of Microsoft rant rage, just think of this little piece. I found it gave me a different outlook (heh.) on MS. They really do have a sense of humor and it’s a brilliant one! I really can’t do it justice and only hope you find it to be just as cool as I did and if not then maybe you haven’t tried creating a pivot table in excel lately…WORD.
Drive to work while applying lipstick because you forgot to put it on at home. Realize that you left your lunch in the fridge. Fidget with radio because morning DJs are wankers and talk too much.
Walk in the door at 8:04am, decide that the today is going to work in your favor and you are leaving on time today! Look around your cubical and decide that you need to do a spring cleaning with it…Take 6 minutes to get your coffee because you are not opening your email before 8:15am! 8:21am, sit down in front of monitor and proceed to login to network. Have to reset password because it expired, try a series of different combos that apparently you thought to use previously, ugh! 8:24am, finally logged in and clicked on outlook to open…loading, loading, loading, sip coffee and think of what you could have for lunch since you left yours at home. Still connecting, now it’s updating folders, ugh……continue to devour your coffee as if you are a ravenous animal gnawing on a piece of raw meat…still updating folders, the I loathe bill gates thought comes to mind. 8:29am, inbox has 18 new emails, quickly glance at senders and subject lines…damn, sipped last bit of coffee out of vacant mug…decide to get up and go get a second cup, it’s now only 8:36am…the day’s surrealism has begun to set in…
(I thought I would do a series of cubical living and related topics because, let’s admit it, it’s life for some of us and it’s amusing to analyze on a social level.) Next up, cubicle living no, no’s! Stay tuned!
In honor of accepting a new corporate position over the long Holiday weekend I present:
The “Ministry of Information” scene from Terry Gilliam‘s genius masterpiece Brazil. This was by far one of the premier movies to ever make a juicy and not unindented impression on my formative mind.
Joyous….
Speaking as a minor webmonkey, who hasn’t heard a great deal of this bandied about?
(3) When possible, refer all matters to committees, for “further study and consideration.” Attempt to make the committees as large as possible — never less than five.
(4) Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.
(5) Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.
(6) Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.
(7) Advocate “caution.” Be “reasonable” and urge your fellow-conferees to be “reasonable” and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on.
(8) Be worried about the propriety of any decision — raise the question of whether such action as is contemplated lies within the jurisdiction of the group or whether it might conflict with the policy of some higher echelon.
What we’re looking at here is a passage from a 1944 sabotage manual. How many of us haven’t had the experience of having our brightest ideas referred to a committee? BoingBoing points us to an excellent excerpt regarding what it is to truly misdirect one’s opponent. The frightening thing, for me at least, is that these techniques crop up pretty much daily in my realm.
Link (warning! pdf!)
