Entries Tagged as 'Theater'

I was a happy man with a bag of guitar picks

APPLE, THE BIG – My very finest associate, playwright Timothy Charles Browne, is premiering his third big-timey play in two years, “One Night With Raël” at this year’s ANT Fest at Ars Nova, on Wednesday, October 28 at 8 p.m.
It seems that, while watching Anne Frank being taken from behind by Nazis in Browne’s last off-Broadway sensation, “The Erotic Diary of Anne Frank,” attending director, Snehal Desai, decided then and there that Browne was, obviously, the only man to write his upcoming musical about Raël, charismatic ex-race car driver, guitarist, and magazine publisher turned oversexed conduit to alien divinity.

Adam,_Eve,_and_Elohim_(Raëlism)

The Raëlians, you might recall, popped up on the science radar about a decade ago when one of their member’s cloning concerns, Clonaid, claimed to have cloned a goddamn human being. But a movement does not survice on cloning alone… though… I suppose it could. But, no, it requires a lot of singin’, a lot of sexin’, and a lot of accepting the power of the Elohim through yer flippin’ frontal lope! But act quick, time is tight and mankind just might miss its window to escape… AN AGE OF APOCALYPSE!

A_gathering_of_Raëlians_in_South_Korea

The show used to have a great Link Wray joke and now it doesn’t, but I’m sure the play will still manage to hold up somehow as Browne’s work never fails to amuse. People in-the-know have quietly muttered under their breath that Browne’s work is the hippest in NYC and with this particular offering featuring an original score by composer John Fischer UPDATE:   sorta cobbled together at the last moment by incompetents, there is no way that your socks will not be blown completely off and to opposite ends of the room.

Sadly, I won’t be able to personally get down to the NYC to see this one, which pains me greatly, but, no free beer means no Cash Money. These are the breaks.

Tickets are a mere $10. That’s crazy stupid cheap.

Get offended early and avoid the rush, it’s…

diary

If you happen to be in one of The Five Boroughs on Saturday, August 29, and also happen to be a savage mongoloid with nowhere to go and nothing to lose devotee of theatre, be sure to catch the world premier of the nazisploitation-comedy  “The Erotic Diary of Anne Frank,” the latest contemptible heap of malodorous pop culture pap and putrescence masterpiece from some asshole my very finest associate, Timothy Charles Browne, the hack author of  last year’s sold-out smash-hit, “The Most Lamentable & Tragical Historie of the Barber-Surgeons,”  where there was, at least, free beer my favorite play ever.

Get yer tickets quick, before they sell out.  Plus, free beer, so you know I’ll be there.

“NO THANKS. THINK I’LL PASS.”                       -JAMES WOLCOTT, VANITY FAIR

New Movies for 04/04/08

Okay, so I’m back in the swing of things after starting my new job, so here we go, time to die a little inside from what our pretentious Hollywood decides what they think we want to see on the silver screen…Lots of stuff out this weekend, mostly on limited, which is my cup-o-tea!

On the Big Screen:

LeatherheadRomantic comedy – Starring: George Clooney, Renee Zellweger,and John Krasinski . This one is set in the 1920′s and follows an aging football player that rivals a newly hired team mate for the heart of a journalist. (I will give Clooney the benefit of the doubt because I don’t think this one has been done before. Honestly, it seems to be missing something though, say a plot…it does have the guy from The Office!)

Shine a Light – Starring: The Rolling Stones (the band.) This is a documentary on the Stones through the years and follows them up until the year 2006. (Another Stones documentary, do we really need another one? How boring, ugh.)

Nim’s Island – Starring: Jodie Foster, Gerard Butler, and Abigail Breslin. The author of a popular adventure series decides to help her number one fan (a young girl) who lives on an exotic island find her father. Alex Rover, the main character in the series comes to life to join the two on the secret island for great adventures. (This sounds a bit like Peter Pan or a girls’ version of Indiana Jones. This could be one for the kiddies!)

The Ruins – Starring: Shawn Ashmore, Jena Malone, and Jonathan Tucker. A Mexican vacation takes a turn for the worse for a group of Americans when they head into the jungle to look for the missing brother of a fellow traveler. A foreboding encounter with a couple locals is only a hint of the evil that awaits them on a patch of secluded hillside. (If there were a few zombies thrown in I’d say, “See ya at the theater!” This looks to be a netflixer…Although, Jena Malone has become quite the looker these days, huh, boys? hehe!)

Limited Theater Release:

Jack and Jill vs. the World

Sex and Death 101

Meet Bill

Tuya’s Marriage

My Blueberry Nights

Naissance Des Pieuvres


The Flight of the Red Balloon

Jellyfish

Demons Rising

Courtesy of Hollywood.com

New Movies for 2/22/08

In Most Major Theaters for the Weekend of 2/22/08!

Vantage Point - Starring Dennis Quaid, Matthew Fox, Forest Whitaker, and Sigourney Weaver…Basically this is a look at five different points-of-view that are mixed up together to chronicle an attempt on the life of the U.S. President.  Two secret service agents are assigned to protect the President.  However, when he is shot after his arrival in another country chaos ensues and disparate lives collide.  Two other people have video taped the horrific event and we see it from each persons’ perspective.  There truth of the assassination attempt is found among the mess. [I think I am a bit confused but that's okay, I'm sure the 'truth is out there' right?  This does have a nice cast of people, which make it appeasing but I don't think movie ticket worthy...] 

Be Kind Rewind – Starring Jack Black, Mos Def, and Danny Glover.  Jack Black plays a man that is unaware that he has a magnetized brain.  He ends up erasing every video tape in a store that his friend works at.  In order to keep the store’s only loyal renter, an aging woman with a tenuous grasp on reality, the two men set out to remake all the lost films that she chooses to rent. [I think this one has some great appeal on the original plot idea.  I'm not a fan of all of Jack Black's films but this one seems to be just kooky enough to hold my attention.]

Charlie Bartlett – Starring Anton Yelchin, Robert Downey Jr., and Hope Davis.  In public school for the first time Charlie Bartlett finds himself surrounded by the ‘outcast’ kids that are in need of a shrink.  He decides to become an underground and under-aged shrink who only listens to private confessions of his schoolmates, of course at a price.  He also takes it upon himself to hand out pills he’s proffered from his own psychiatric sessions to solve their crises.  Charlie then falls for the Principal’s daughter, who is desperate to find out just what he is up to.  His life starts to unravel and he learns there is more to life then just handing out pills. [This could be funny but not something I'm going to run, trot or even skip to the theater for.  I think this could be a fun netflixer on one of those drinking nights.  Kinda is in the same genre of "Super Bad."]

Witless Protection – Starring Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy.  A small-town sheriff rescues a woman he believes has been kidnapped, only to realize she’s the star witness of a white-collar crime trial.  Now he has to protect both of them from the people chasing her down. [WTF, I'm sorry but this sounds like pure crap to me.  First, you would have to be a fan of Larry the Cable guy to even be able to stand to see his face on the big screen.  I can't believe they made a movie out of this with him...*dies a little inside*]

At limited Theaters…but thought worth mentioning…

The Signal – Starring Anessa Ramsey, Justin Welborn, and Scott Poythress.  This is a horror film explained in three parts from three different perspectives, in which a enigmatic transmission that preys on fear and desire invades every cell phone, radio and TV, turning people into killers.  The city of Terminus was once a city of conformity but is now in turmoil and rebellious state of chaos. [I think if I had to choose one to go see at the theater, this might be the one.  I know I have seen this plot done before but set in a different type of world is what has me intrigued with interest.]

Enjoy the weekend you web zombies!

Source and Internet Movie Data base

New Movies for 2/8/2008

New Movies in Most Major Theaters for 2/8/08! 

(Big List this Weekend!)

In Bruges” – (Comedy/Crime) Starring Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Clemence Posey, Ralph Fiennes.  This is a dark comedy about two London hit-men Ray (Farrell) and Ken (Gleeson) who find themselves in an unfamiliar scene.  After a difficult job, they are sent to cool off in Bruges, where they find themselves drawn into the dangerous local scene.  They begin to question their perspectives on life and death.  [I think I am going to have to get my butt down to the theater for this one, finally something worth the $8 bucks!]

Fool’s Gold” – (Adventure/Comedy) Starring Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson, Donald Sutherland, Ewen Bremner, Alexis Dziena, Ray Winstone.  Their eight-year search for booty leaves them broke and with a shipwrecked marriage.  Will the clues lead them to the new fortune and salvage their plunged marriage? [It's like "National Treasure" only with married people who don't like each other.  What is in my netflix cue for this weekend?]

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins” – (Comedy) Starring Martin Lawrence, Mo’Nique, James Earl Jones.  RJ Stevens is a talk-show sensation, who left behind his deep south life and family name to transform into a self-help guru dispensing his “Team of Me” philosophy to millions of adoring fans.  When he returns home his family call him on his big-city attitude and challenge him at every turn.  RJ is forced to take a hard look at the man he’s become.  [I'm sorry, is Martin Lawrence that hard up for money?  Com'on people, I'm falling asleep here writing this thing!]

Vince Vaughn’s Wild West Comedy Show” – (Stand-up Comedy/Documentary) Starring Vince Vaughn, Justin Long, Dwight Yoakam, Ahmed Ahmed, John Caparulo, Bret Ernst.  This film features footage from “30 days & 30 nights, Hollywood to the Heartland Tour” from producer/actor Vince Vaughn.  He selected 4 up-and-coming comics to join him on his tour.  [Dwight Yoakam the country singer?]

Not Playing Everywhere:

Military Intelligence and You!“ - (Military Spoof) Major Nick Reed is a military analyst determined to find a hidden Nazi fighter base.  Complicating his efforts is a chance meeting with his former love, Lt. Monica Tasty, and her current beau, Major Mitch Dunning. [Good luck with this one folks...]

The Band’s Visit” – (Comedy/Musical) A small Egyptian Police band are supposed to play at an ceremony in Israel but instead are left stranded at the airport.  A lost band in a lost town.  [...I wonder if they are still lost?...netflixer?]

London to Brighton” – (Drama/Thriller/Crime/Foreign)  It’s 3:307 am and two girls burst into a run down London loo.  Joanne is crying her eyes out and her clothing is ripped.  Kelly’s face is bruised and starting to swell.  Duncan Allen lies in his bathroom bleeding to death.  Duncan’s son, Stuart, has found his father and wants answers.  Derek, Kelly’s pimp, needs to find Kelly or it will be him who pays.  Kelly and Joanne need to get through the next 24 hours alive. [Bingo!  Chaos in London with dangerous situations and crime...this one will hold my interest!]

Bab’Aziz – The Prince Who Contemplated His Soul” – (Drama/Foreign) This is the story of a blind dervish and his granddaughter, Ishtar.  They wander the desert in search of a great reunion of dervishes that takes place just once every thirty years.

A Walk to Beautiful” – (Documentary) Tells the story of five women in Ethiopia suffering from devastating childbirth injuries.  Rejected by their husbands and ostracized by their communities, these women are left to spend the rest of their lives in loneliness and shame.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes” – (Horror/Thriller)  10 bodies buried in the backyard of an abandoned house.  Police discover over 800 neatly organized videotapes detailing the torture, murder and dismemberment of the victims.

Pathology” – (Crime/Horror/Thriller) A group of medical students devise a deadly game: to see which one of them can commit the perfect murder.

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo” (Comedy) – Nuff’ said!

The Hottie and the Nottie” (Comedy/Romance) – A Paris Hilton movie…

Spiral” (Drama/Thriller) – Office Space meets Hitchcock.

George Romero’s Diary of the Dead” (Horror/Thriller) – A group of young film students run into real-life zombies while filming a horror movie of their own. [mmm, BRAINS and George Romero!]

How to Rob a Bank” (Comedy/Crime/Thriller) – Caught in the middle of a bank robbery, a slacker and bank employee become the ones who arbitrate the situation. 

Enjoy and Have a Great Weekend!

Hollywood.com / IMBD  / Netflix