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Tonight’s tip comes by way of the illustrious Nekogirl, and frankly I can’t believe I’d overlooked it this long. A classic anime from the mid eighties, Fist of the Northstar is about as dystopian as they come. We’re talkin’ the Mad Max of anime here. Seriously, Give it just the first five minutes of episode 1 and you’ll see what I mean.

Actually, on second though, that may literally be the opening to Mad Max. Except in Japanese. And about 7 years later. And with the addition of more head-explody.

Really though, who wouldn’t want more of that?

Naturally though the plot thereafter strays a bit, but the balance of drama and sheer violence is astonishing.

Ah Toei Animation Co. We owe you greatly for classics such as these. Not just for giving us Voltron, but also for episode titles like ” The Fist of Lingering Regret and Certain Death!” . And to think I’d nearly forsaken you after that whole Digimon thing….

The best part about all this, of course? Hulu has acquired rights to air 152 (!) of the original episodes, in the proper subbed format. I think I’ll have it running the entirety of the weekend.

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The following is an excerpt from transcript of KahrlZero’s NeoCon AM Radio Talk Show, “Zero Hour,” episode 46:  ”Fiduciary Controls and how they are a cover for the Leftist takeover of Real America.”

Segment guest: Cash Money

…

Kahrl Zero: …and that’s how fiduciary controls are a cover for the Leftist takeover of Real America.

Cash Money: Wow, I hadn’t really thought about it that way before.  Personally, I have recently found myself obsessed with Avril Lavigne.  Not her music or even her so much as her career.

KZ: How so? Because I know fuck-all.

CM: Well, you know her brand of music. Vacuous, if upbeat. Marketed as “The AntiBrittany,” though she really is the same thing with a different coat of paint and a different time signature.

KZ: (ugh) And more eyeliner.

CM: Right. Which is fine. Or was. She has, at time of recording, three albumns on the market with a fourth set to drop this summer.  However, she is now 25. And has an impending albumn. The question is, when does society demand something more from her.

Something showing an actual working adult brain capable of producing art for and adult audience.  In terms of being an entrepreneur she is no fool; she has and a clothing line through Kohl’s to help market a fashion-style that she single handed created and that swept the teeny-bopper world world by storm and  she has a fragrance with Proctor & Gamble that is expected to ear over $50 million in sales.  So that proves she has brains of some type.  Her 2007  albumn, “Best Damn Thing,” was the #4 albumn that year.  That’s impressive.  Here is my beef: the smash hit from that albumn was a ditty called “Girlfriend.”

It is, as you can see, complete teenybopper nonsense.  Boner inspiring teenybopper nonsense to be sure, but teenybopper nonsense all the same.  Her age at the time this video was made? TWENTY-FUCKING-TWO YEARS OLD.  So I ask: when do we, consumers of music, demand a soul from this person and adult thoughts and behavior? Or will she be singing this pap until she’s 47? Her original audience has outgrown her.  She’s probably two generations of 10-14 year old girls in seeing as girls age 15+ can’t really seem to abide her.

KZ: I think she needs to take all her money and take some time off.

CM: Oh, I think she needs to literally give herself some time to grow up.

KZ: Well, yeah.

CM: But that’s the interesting part!  For once in my life I am preoccupied by the outcome of something.  This is how sports fans must feel!  I am totally and utterly obsessed with seeing if she:

A) will grow up as an artist or

B) will attempt to tempt fate and be 15 forever like some sort of Peter Pan with ovaries

and in that specific case will that choice result in:

1) amusing if bizarre continued success or

2) complete abandonment and subsequent OBLIVION!

KZ: Or,

3) MADNESS!

CM: Yes. See, I think the MADNESS! is already there, lurking.  No more than it has consumed David Bowie, anyway.

KZ: Well, yeah, exactly.   She’ll end up like Burt Ward in the Adam West Batman showing up at old age in his costume.

CM: After beginning a successful visual effects company.   See: Karen Allen who played Marion in Raiders of The Lost Ark. Who has a knitwear design,  Karen Allen – Fiber Arts.

KZ: That’s why my obsession is Lady Gaga. As she has harnessed the MADNESS! and I do not think it will consume her.

CM: I have to give her credit, she sprang full formed from the head of Zeus. With a lot Zeus left on her.  Someone told me she was named “chief creative officer” for a line of imaging products for Polaroid.

KZ: No kidding? All I know is she used to write songs for other artists at Interscope.

CM:  Fucked if I know.

KZ: On that note, let’s open up the phone lines to see who wants to weigh in about fiduciary oversight.  Let’s go to Etruscan. You there?

[caller] Etruscan:  Hi KZ, Cash. Long time listener, first time caller. I really just wanted to say that I think you guys have really hit the nail on the head as far as fiduciary controls over pop icons are concerned. I mean, we’re entrusting these entities and their handlers with millions of misdirected tax dollars in write-offs to execute pop stardom in a reliable revenue generating fashion, and that’s clearly holding them back from achieving a greater measure of cultural influence. It’s a question of building trust, really. I’m holding out hope for Lady Gaga at least in the sense that she’s even more unpredictable than the balance in my 401k, but Lavigne is looking more like keeping Cash under the mattress. Sorry, no pun intended. But I think you’re right that we really need to push for more deregulation of pop stardom, and level the playing field so that a greater number of companies can get in there and be competitive. It will drive the overall cost of iconism down, which is what the free market was intended for.

KZ: Alright, good call, good call.

CM: Lavigne separated from her husband last year, so she might very well want to keep me in the vicinity of her mattress.

KZ: OK, next call.  Nekogirl, you’ve reached Zero Hour.

[caller] Nekogirl: For some reason this topic makes me think of Tiger Woods who is now in rehab for sex addition in Arizona. We all saw him grow up and become the “trust” spokesperson for Nike and that huge ass SUV with all the gold rims. As for Lady Gaga, yes that girl is the ‘moment’. She has stumbled upon an idea of how to change peoples’ thinking when it comes to the music industry. I enjoy watching her videos so much more than listening to her music. If I catch her on the radio, I begin to picture her in some elaborate costume that she has sown together herself. And swinging from the ceiling in a sexual escapade to bring on the “paparazzi” and dead girls screaming who adore her because of her bravery of expression. Is she self-expressing? I don’t think so. I think she is making a point. A point of style and change. Honestly, I don’t want to listen to her, I want to see her perform. Now, that is talent. Go TEAM Gaga! And regarding my opening comment on Tiger Woods, it’s unfortunate that he took on that fiduciary role for certain entertainment titles because now he has failed them. I don’t see his failure but no one can “trust” a cheating husband when he’s been caught.

KZ: Except in instances of international hostage negotiation, of course.

[caller]: So, what would that say about the companies he is representing? That they support an untrustworthy person to hold a role of representation? Nope, not Nike or Cadillac. I don’t blame them for dropping him but to make the man apologize publicly for being human is uncalled for.

CM: Cash Money’s rule #6: Never apologize.

KZ: On that note, I really MUST apologize because it’s become ZERO HOUR!

[crazy rock music]

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Today was a big day for American politics whether I wanted to be aware of it or not. A bipartisan summit about Health Bill 2: Electric Boogaloo. The networks and the stations on my XM radio were hyping the event with choice sound clips of Obama (“Show me what you got!”) trying to make it out like a DMX song:

“BARACK GONNA GIVE IT TO YA (what) GONNA GIVE IT TO YA (word) UHN! [dog barks]“

Health Bill 2: Electric Boogaloo may be the one instance during my lifetime that I can recall the government actually trying to help The Citizens of America rather than help itself, so, naturally I am skeptical.  I have a tendency to view it askance, aloof, and from afar – that’s Triple A Apathy, son.  Trust no crooks.  Follow the money.  Exterminate the brutes.  All that.
But.
Andrewvius tells me I no longer have the luxury of pessimism and has yet to release his vice grip on my lapels.

“But I don’t wanna,” I tell him.

“You have no choice now,” he tells me, his eyes wild. “It is this or the void.”

“Well, you know my dislike for the void,” I say. “All that howling and such.”

“Oh, it’s a bitch,” he says, quickly adding, “But it can be avoided, Cash. All it will take is just a little attention. Just so little attention for such a short, short period of time, Cash.  We must be wonks.  Just this once and just for now, be wonks.  Then we can all go back to our American Idols and our Pokemon and whatever the hell it is that you claim to do, Cash-”

And I start to defend how I spend my days but he snags me by the ears and pulls us nose to nose and I can smell that he is serious when he continues, “-and I can go back to The Sea – WITH AT LEAST SOME FUCKING CATASTROPHIC HEALTH INSURANCE!”

And so, without further bullshitting, our man on the scene, Andrewvius the floor is yours.

“Well, the summit was really a remarkable event.

There was, a tremendous amount of agreement on issues between the parties. In fact, though the Republicans repeatedly referenced polls showing 55% of Americans opposing the Senate version of the bill, those same polls show support from the majority of Americans on each separate policy. This disparity is a result of an effective campaign of talking points by the GOP and conservative media characterizing the overhaul as “a government takeover.”

So, when you ask someone if they want the bill, they say, “no,” even though they like all the ideas. So, if the people like the policies, and the two parties agree on the majority of the policies, what are the differences discussed today?

Republicans want to reform the system through cost-control measures. They see frivolous malpractice lawsuits as the biggest driver of health care costs and they want to cap settlements to reduce the cost of malpractice insurance. Besides this idea, they have a ton of good ideas on reducing the costs in the system by fighting fraud and trimming administrative costs.
They want to accomplish all this through a series of small bills passed over time, rather than through a big ol’ bill. They project their reforms would allow around %10 of the uninsured to get insurance.

Democrats want the big ol’ bill. This is because their vision of reform is as a sweeping overhaul. They have a big cause-and-effect circle in their plan that can’t be accomplished in little pieces. It must hang together. This circle is designed to get everyone in the country into the health insurance system. The circle goes like this:

1. Everyone in the country buys health insurance
2. The whole insurance industry is regulated to protect customers
3. Due to the huge pool of customers and the profit restrictions on insurance companies, the price of policies go down
4. The law says you must buy health insurance
5. Everyone in the country buys health insurance
6. Rinse and repeat.

There’s much more to it than that, but this chestnut is the reason that piecemeal reform isn’t at all acceptable to the Democrats. This is what makes it an overhaul. It’s big and scary. It’s nationwide. They will include all the Republican ideas for cost-cutting and interstate exchanges, but Dems won’t give up the heart of reform. That is the belief that we must provide affordable health insurance for all Americans with no exceptions.

I support the Democrats here.

I can’t cover the 6 hour summit I just watched, nor can I cover our President’s proposal. I encourage each and every person to pursue this information on their own.

Read the policies on the White House website.

Read the Republican policies (.pdf).

Watch the summit:

What I want each person to do is to check this stuff out and find out what their lives will be like if the overhaul goes through. Don’t let Fox News, NPR, CNBC, CNN, Rush, Newt, or Free Speech Radio News tell you what is good for you. The real dope is right at your fingertips, you must educate yourself.

I am 28, healthy and uninsured. I make around $30,000 so I take home around $20,000. I want to emphasize that I am the type of person they are counting on to bear the financial burden of carrying a policy I don’t need in order to reduce the cost for those Americans with a pre-existing condition. Those Americans who smoke, eat fast food, and don’t exercise. The overhaul proposed by Obama and the Democrats will allow me to afford health insurance that will provide unlimited catastrophic coverage, primary care, and will include financial incentives to eat healthy food and exercise more.

Speaker Pelosi said something today that seemed directed toward me and my whole generation. I’ll close with this quote.

“But I want to talk for a moment about what it means to the economy. Imagine an economy where people could change jobs, start businesses, become self-employed, whether to pursue their artistic aspirations or be entrepreneurial and start new businesses if they were not job-locked, because they have a child who’s bipolar or a family member who’s diabetic, with a preexisting condition, and all of the other constraints that having health care or not having health care places on an entrepreneurial spirit. Think of an economy with that dynamism of people following their pursuits, taking risks — we want them to take risks and yet we lock them down, and we have an anvil around their businesses because of these increasing costs of health care. So this bill is not only about the health security of America. It’s about jobs.”

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A short but lovely,  STOP MOTION ROBOTIC APOCALYPSE TRAILER!

Just the thing to go with boiling coffee over a dessicated can of sterno. The street finds its own uses for things, after all.

From Andy Goralczyk via Twitch.

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Tonight we have an interesting twist on the classic “Mysterious portal causes people to develop superhuman abilities” riff.

Darker Than Black from Tensai Okamura.  Ignore, for a moment, the somewhat common Disaster Strikes Tokyo and The Paranormal Is Unleashed On The World themes.

The really fascinating thing here is the premise that for each of these characters, at every instance where they exercise their abilities, a subsequent correlation must be made. Be it compulsion, obsession, neurotic tick, general lack of sociability, what have you. As a general rule I tend to skew towards the anti-hero scale as far as protagonists go, and by and large I’ve eschewed many of the more traditional Supers in favor of more offbeat fare. This, though, has caused me to rethink a few of those considerations. Certainly, you’ll find much here that is familiar, and possibly hackneyed, but I think the potential is there for something that works on a much deeper level if explored in full.

Plus, you know, Secret Government Manipulations and Mind Control. C’mon now, who could resist?

Frankly, if Heroes had tossed out a little bit more of a premise twist like this, rather than the eternally shifting plot arcs (Ok, classic in their own frame of reference stylistically, I suppose.) perhaps it would have gained a bit more traction.

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Or your General Gau’s Chicken.

The General’s Chicken is popular-perhaps the most popular Hunanese dish in the world.  It is so popular that many people don’t realize that there is other food on a Chinese menu.  And while eating it many of those people say, “man, I wonder who this General Tso… or Gau guy was,” just before they pass out into a month-long MSG coma.

Truth be told, there are many rumors as to the origin of this sweet and spicy dish’s moniker.

Most revolve around Qing dynasty Chinese military hero, General T’sung-t’ang Tso (1812-1885).

Sometimes it is said that he simply liked the dish, others that he created the dish himself.

Some people claim that the General used to cook a version of the popular dish over the burning wreckage of cities to which he’d laid waste.  On a scale of badassery from one to ten, one being a milquetoast pantywaist ten being Granby Man, I’d give this explanation a solid 8.8.

Another version of the dish’s origin sees the General on the night preceding a battle he knows he cannot win. To raise moral he creates the a chicken dish made from the little scraps of chicken he has left and that it gave his troops the hutzpah to carry on to victory.  That’s pretty good, too, I might give it a 6.7.

Finally, there is a lesser known origin that features both General Tso and another lesser known Chinese General, General Gau.  Many times, Gau is seen as another spelling of the difficult to translate from Chinese tongue to English script “Tso,” but this is not the case.

v.

In China, there is a well-known traditional pass-time of raising crickets to fight.  A lesser known tradition is raising battle chickens.  Dating back as early as Tang Dynasty, scrolls have been unearthed in the Hunan Province of China depicting large groups of armored chickens engaging in large-scale combats.

Both prominent generals, Gau and Tso, would often disagree about battle tactics.  Gau was more of a best defense is a good offense guy, while Tso claimed the opposite, defending key strategic points at all costs.  Both men were avid chicken hobbyists and finally, one fateful day, it was decided that, the only way to decide which man was the best general was to pit their feathery forces against each in a massive, mock battle.

Both men were avid breeders and had legions of birds a piece, and both considered victory assured.  On the day of combat, both men painstakingly positioned their fidgety forces on either side of a large meadow that servants had cleared.  The chickens had been outfitted with the small, armored sections made of tree-bark and affixed small scraps of metal to beaks and spurs.  At the appropriate time, a trumpet sounded and the two armies collided in a flurry of feathers, blood, and squawking.

It is said that the fight lasted from noon to late into the evening and lanterns had to be brought to the battlefield to illuminate combat.

In the end, General Gau’s tactical genius won the day and his forces completely wiped out all of Tso’s men, er, chickens.

In a final gesture of victory (and ultimately vitriol), Gau gathered up all of Tso’s eviscerated troops and cooked them all in a mixture of ginger, garlic, soy sauce, rice vinegar, Shaoxing wine, and hot peppers that he had concocted specifically for the victory.  To this day, citizens of Hunan have a good chuckle whenever they think that they might still be eating the chickens of ol’ disgraced Tso.

This legend is, of course, my favorite as I made it up just now.

Nope, none of this gobbledygook is true, apparntly, though the story of The General’s Chicken is still fairly interesting, if inauspicious.

Salon.com’s Francis Lam recently wrote a really spectacular,  in-depth history of the real creator (at least officially) of Tso’s chicken, Taiwanese immigrant chef, Peng Chang-kuei.

The story includes chefs fleeing Mao to Taiwan in 1949 ( “afraid for their lives and the ability to practice what would soon be called their reactionary cooking”) the post-1965 Sichuan culinary arms race, not one but two New York Tso-Thieves, and Peng’s eventual arrival in NYC to clean house where upon he himself is accused as being the pretender -OH THE CRUEL IRONY, PENG!

Sadly, America would come to love the version of Tso’s created from Peng’s by Tso-thief, Chef T.T. Wang’s (teehee!). Wang’s (teehee!) version is the sweeter, crispier version of the dish that just doesn’t have the same zazz the next day when you microwave it.

Ironically, while Tso’s Chicken is often referred to as the most popular example of Hunan-style cooking, it is, in fact, not very Hunan-style at all.  It takes SOME aspects from Hunan cooking but is mostly a hodge-podge of all the different styles Peng encountered as a young chef in both China and Taiwan.

So, on the whole, you might be a little let down by this version of General Tso’s Chicken, but I assure you…

his coffee is a completely different story.

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